i want to be the one you tell everything to at 4am when you can’t sleep
Eli, 18. Virgo, College Student.
I rather wear flowers around my head than diomonds around my neck.
This is how you lose her.
You lose her when you forget to remember the little things that mean the world to her: the sincerity in a stranger’s voice during a trip to the grocery, the delight of finding something lost or forgotten like a sticker from when she was five, the selflessness of a child giving a part of his meal to another, the scent of new books in the store, the surprise short but honest notes she tucks in her journal and others you could only see if you look closely.
You must remember when she forgets.
You lose her when you don’t notice that she notices everything about you: your use of the proper punctuation that tells her continuation rather than finality, your silence when you’re about to ask a question but you think anything you’re about to say to her would be silly, your mindless humming when it is too quiet, your handwriting when you sign your name in blank sheets of paper, your muted laughter when you are trying to be polite, and more and more of what you are, which you don’t even know about yourself, because she pays attention.
She remembers when you forget.
You lose her for every second you make her feel less and less of the beauty that she is. When you make her feel that she is replaceable. She wants to feel cherished. When you make her feel that you are fleeting. She wants you to stay. When you make her feel inadequate. She wants to know that she is enough and she does not need to change for you, nor for anyone else because she is she and she is beautiful, kind and good.
You must learn her.
You must know the reason why she is silent. You must trace her weakest spots. You must write to her. You must remind her that you are there. You must know how long it takes for her to give up. You must be there to hold her when she is about to.
You must love her because many have tried and failed. And she wants to know that she is worthy to be loved, that she is worthy to be kept.
And, this is how you keep her
- Push me against the wall, the/a door
- Gently grab my chin and make me look into your eyes
- Grab my waist and pull my body against yours
- Caress my cheek
- Pull my hair
- Put your hand in the back pocket of my jeans
- Bite my lip
- Put your arms around my neck
- Tease me
- Look at me with those eyes of yours, that naughty look of yours is irresistible
- Learn to put on your bracelets and zip up your dresses by yourself. There will be times when you will be alone.
- Get on a long plane ride. Look out the window. Understand the immensity of our world. Understand your insignificance. Understand your absolute importance.
- Press the send button. If you don’t say it now, you never will.
- Do not sneer at happiness or roll your eyes at sadness. Be aware that apathy is not healthy.
- You are more than the amount of people who want to have sex with you.
- That pit in your stomach when he doesn’t text you back, it shouldn’t be there. No one should be able to control you like that.
- Shopping is cathartic. Buy the shoes and deal with one-ply toilet paper for a while.
- It will get better, but it will never be perfect. Learn to live through the small moments of happiness. When they disappear, remember they will resurface.
- I promise that cookie will not change anything (except that it will make you smile).
- Please, please, take care of yourself. You are everything to somebody. You are everything to your self. That alone is enough.